Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
