just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
