i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
