I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
