Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
