i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
