Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
