I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
