Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The beer is more important than you right now.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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