If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
