You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
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I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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