yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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