the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
