I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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