coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
where are my eyebrows?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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