I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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