Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
