I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
