i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize