I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
