I want to stick my p in your. b.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
