At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
