Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
