I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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