But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize