I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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