Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
