Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
