# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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