can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
