i just had sex bonerless
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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