it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
