she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
