You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
