That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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