They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
The ass gains better be worth it
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