Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
