STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Are we still banned from the library?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
