I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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