The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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