I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
