I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
