whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
