Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
