sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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