Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
