the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
