I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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