My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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