he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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