TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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