Plan B is the new Plan A
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
