she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize