i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
