a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Randomize
