he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize