new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
