Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
