Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize