tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
