so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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