Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize