He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
