well I can't set my house on fire every night
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize