youre lurking in front of me
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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