The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
