OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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