Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize