the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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