How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
