no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
