im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
