We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
