Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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