this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
