never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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