I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
