if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
