the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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